Kwa Ground Ni Different – MENTAL HEALTH.

I’ve shared my journey with depression and anxiety on my YouTube channel (shameless plug) “The Juliette Method”, which was one of the hardest yet best things I’ve ever done.

Imagine you are falling down an endless dark hole, we all dream, the falling dream is common I’m sure at some point you’ve experienced it 😆. So it’s endless and dark, then you pray and land on a slab and you think oh there’s hope of getting out of this place, whatever this place is and after a few minutes of you breathing out a faceless, bodyless hand holding a hammer written death comes and breaks the slab…..down the rabbit hole you start falling again. Down down down you go and for those who’ve had “the falling dream” you know it’s not fun AT ALL. I would equate it with going quickly down 50 floors of a very fast elevator without stopping. That feeling of instability is not amusing.

So again you pray and you land on another slab. Finally! Relief! May be now I can find my way out of this hell hole! After a couple of hours, what do you know, the faceless, bodyless hand holding a hammer, this time it’s written marital | relationship dispute comes down and vapourizes the slab…not again, here you go.

So you pray and hope and pray and after a couple of weeks down the hole….boom! Another slab! Finally! This could be it…let me see how to get myself out of this. You feel around for a switch, a lever, a secret passage way, just something …anything to get you out and just as you feel something that seems like could open the elusive passage way to OUT… what happens? The faceless, bodyless hand and it’s merciless hammer written robbery | attack | hijacking completely breaks away the slab and your back to the nauseating downward endless spiral.

At some point you land somewhere and finally, finally you think this is it. . . there’s light, it’s warm, there’s music, there are even other people there….there’s even a table set up as a banquet! What luck! Was all that falling leading me to this “happy place”? The various foods and drinks are labeled. ALCOHOL. COCAINE. SEX. CLUBBING. OVEREATING. BULIMIA. ANOREXIA. etc…the choice is yours, unlimited. Not only are these offerings enticing but they are the only way you get to stay in the well lit, warm, fun house filled with friends. So you partake, you indulge without a care because after all who wants to go back to an endless dark hole fall. Am I insane??…I only and always want to feel just this good!! Unfortunately the good starts to feel just as bad if not more than the endless dark hole fall. How do I stop this overindulgence because it’s now making me sick, without going back to the deep dark endless hole fall???

That is the catch22.

When in the state of depression, and I don’t want to assume i know how all forms of mental illness feel because, I’ve not experienced bi polar, schizophrenia and such but I want to try and relate…you feel like you are in an endless deep dark hole without a way out. Without relief. Without rest. It’s a constant state of feeling helpless, hopeless and unworthy. Imagine feeling that way day in day out no matter how hard you want to feel the opposite.

In as much as Mental health involves emotional, psychological and social factors there’s also an issue of a chemical imbalance that comes in and doesn’t apply to everyone. It’s the same way there are people prone to high blood pressure, or diabetes or eczema and so on and so forth. People are not the same! Even family members are not the same!

THIS IS A PSA FROM SOMEONE WHO’S BEEN ON BOTH SIDES OF THIS COIN. (IN CAPITAL BECAUSE IT’S DAMN SERIOUS) – No judgment because most people mean well, they just don’t know. :

STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO JUST TALK ABOUT IT AND THEY’LL BE BETTER.

Everyone is not built with the same “talking” personality. Instead ask that person if they wish to talk about it and if not tell them when they can or they’re ready…you or a person of their choice is ready to listen without judgment.

WHEN THEY FINALLY OPEN UP DON’T MINIMIZE THEIR PAIN NO MATTER HOW TRIVIAL OR ‘KAWAIDA’ YOU THINK IT IS.

We minimize when we start giving an account of our own issues and comparing them, remember at that point it’s not about you!

We minimize when we point out how others are going through the same or worse and they are soldiering on.

We minimize when we say “hiyo tu” ” kitu kidogo hivyo” “nani hajapitia hiyo”.Remember you or another might have been through a similar issue but none of us are the same, even identical twins who look alike are NOT THE SAME.

DON’T GIVE UP ON THAT PERSON AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE OR DECIDE TO DO SO DON’T TELL THEM TO THEIR FACE.

Your support could be the only thing giving them hope and you taking that away, especially verbally could be their literal nail in the coffin. I don’t want to give anyone pressure because honestly at the end of the day the only person who can change you is you but love makes the world go round and unconditional love could be the difference between life and death.

LASTLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…BE KIND.

Kindness is everything! You may not understand whatsoever what or even why someone is going through all the things their going through and imagine you can’t…. but know this, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AND FEEL LIKE CRAP. With this in mind. Be kind. If you can’t help, avoid judging please 🤐 REMEMBER GROUND YA HUYO MTU NI DIFFERENT.

Some early signs related to mental health problems are sleep irritation, lack of energy, lack of appetite and thinking of harming yourself or others. These grow and develop into issues like over indulgence in sex, drugs, alcohol, food and habits like cutting oneself.

I’m by no means a doctor or psychologist so take everything I say from a layman’s point of view…an experienced layman 😅My dark hole spiral I believe gave me an insight into this soul sucking rollercoaster and a special kind of sense of empathy for anyone battling with any mental illness. The good news is there can be a firm beautiful foundation at the bottom of that rabbit hole. So reach out and seek help…it’ll be worth it I promise 🤗